Whether you have your snowshoes full of work and are therefore becoming more and more unbearable, or a colleague is in a difficult situation, these tips will help you avoid the office becoming a war zone
We spend a good part of our day, week and life at work, so it is not so difficult to get into annoying situations and get upset by the strange, pessimistic, annoying or outright jerk behavior of a colleague. On the other hand, seething with anger doesn't get you anywhere, so it's better to try to get the best out of less-than-ideal situations. How? The Huffington Post has collected some useful tips.
1. Kindness is still great sir
No, you don't have to become a paragon of charm if it's not your genre, especially because it can quickly become clear that you're just projecting and thus giving the appearance of a passive-aggressive person. But if you try to cooperate continuously, sooner or later the ice can be broken. Small attentions and good deeds help a lot to improve our mood, and this is proven not only by individual experiences, but also by scientific research.
For example, one study also reveals that the happier someone is when recalling a past generous act, the more likely they are to spend on someone else instead of/in addition to themselves. Of course, not all test subjects are excited by such a memory, but those who are, are much more likely to double down on altruism. Offer to bring him coffee too, or if you can, invite him for a sandwich, so the rude colleague on duty might let you down a bit and he won't think that you secretly wish him to lose, and it's even good for your mental world to be selfless behavior, and you can even start a real avalanche of kindness in the workplace with a kind gesture.
2. Hang with him
You have two compelling reasons to spend more time with someone you really can't stand; one is to neutralize the person by getting to know him/her so that he/she doesn't stand in your way anymore; on the other hand, since you don't know what exactly the person you resent is going through, it's worth getting to know him and the situation he's dealing with more closely. If your grievance is about a co-worker - perhaps a mutual superior - then it is better not to get involved in any gossip. "We may be able to impress one or two people with this, but we will certainly alienate the majority of our colleagues, so it's not worth participating in office drama," Jane Sunley, founder of the Purple Cubed HR consulting firm, told Fast Company. In other words, stay neutral if possible and notice if they are making a fuss around you.
3. Listen
You might prefer to gag him every time he speaks, but everyone is better off if you listen to what he has to say. Chris Voss, former head of the FBI's hostage negotiation unit, said in an interview with R29, “listen carefully to the other person and then repeat what they say. Let's do it until he says, That's right. The way it is is different from You're right, because while the former is a sign that the person believes that you (have) understood him, the latter indicates frustration: that although we give the other person the truth, we think to ourselves all the time, stop it this stupid nonsense! " So if we listen to the other person, we give ourselves a chance to better understand the reason for his reactions and behavior.
4. Deep breath… And count to ten
Caroline Webb, managing director of Sevenshift, writes in her book How to have a good day that if we want to bring more positivity into our everyday lives, it is worth asking ourselves an intention-oriented question every morning: What is my purpose? What is my attitude towards things today? If we recognize that we just got out of bed with the wrong foot, that we didn't sleep well and therefore start the day grumpy, it helps a lot to see how our current mood can influence our decisions and behavior in a hot situation.
So when you feel like you need a break to calm down, count to ten (or as long as you want) and take long, deep breaths. By the way, it is worth including some breathing exercises in your daily routine, since the application of the correct breathing technique and meditation directly affect the activity level of the brain, but also have a beneficial effect on our heart and immune system. Hundreds of studies prove that meditation is effective in alleviating fear and anxiety, helping to overcome depression, focusing and dividing attention, concentration, experiencing creativity, and letting go of unachievable goals that already consume a lot of resources.
5. Talk about it, talk it out
Research also proves that saying positive things about our colleagues creates a better working environment and thus results in more productive work. (Nah!) If you're dealing with a difficult case who is holding back your work with his stubbornness, give yourself a chance to listen to his grievances outside of the office and try to focus on how well he's doing his job, which is a good place to start., so that you don't see him as a monster. Don't try to solve their problem right away, and if possible don't give advice, rather highlight and evaluate their strengths, because often this is enough to "redirect" someone to the path they are on confidently and in the right direction.
6. Take an example
As part of a toxic corporate culture filled with snide remarks, catcalls, and email battles, it's hard to stop yourself from engaging in warfare. In such cases, it is worth recalling some instructive story, as a seemingly insignificant gesture counts a lot.
“In one of our surveys, 80 percent of the respondents lost their working time due to little-motivated worries, 78 percent became less committed to their employer, and 50 percent admitted that they decided to put in less effort at work. In another study of 4,500 doctors and nurses, 71 percent of subjects said there was a link between condescending, insulting, rude behavior and staff inattention, and resulting medical errors; And 27 percent knew that workplace disagreements and bad behavior lead to the death of people in this profession," Georgetown University professor Christine Porath told the Mercury News.
You don't necessarily have to kiss and force friendly conversations, but in order to maintain a peaceful atmosphere, a smile, a please or a thank you, and listening to and respecting the opinions of others is enough. Don't forget that if you react completely calmly to a colleague's upset, you will not only surprise and "neutralize" them, but you will also avoid getting into a senseless war.
7. What would your hero do in your place?
According to Webb, it also helps a lot if you simply write out your frustration. Just the bare facts without embellishment: XY said/did this and it doesn't sit well with me. Then let's think about how our "best self" would handle the situation. Because the hero hiding in us doesn't have to passively tolerate everything, he just has to act so as not to add fuel to the fire. Not everyone is comfortable going to a pub with colleagues, but any joint program, even a walk during the lunch break, can give us the opportunity to find out what goes on behind the scenes, that is, what can affect a colleague's behavior at work.
8. If nothing else works, do it
It is an important rule not to reflect the tone in which the grumpy colleague speaks to us, because by doing so we only achieve that we become the heir's target. We are better off if, instead of arguing, we move on with an empathetic comment and a kind smile, so there is much less chance that he will find us on the trail, because he can be rude to us/us. Remind yourself that he's probably just in a bad mood - or just so negative and done - and the problem isn't with you.
9. emergency exit
According to a study published in the journal Emotion, just 12 minutes of exercise is enough to alleviate negative thoughts and overcome feelings of boredom or dread. A short walk is enough, and you don't even need a partner or good time, the effect will be felt: if we remove ourselves from the uncomfortable situation, we will be able to see more realistically and consider rationally.
Of course, you can also choose a more radical escape route if you consider it an impossible mission to cooperate with your colleagues: you can start looking for other job opportunities and resign from your job, so that you can face new challenges with renewed strength.
But if the situation can still be saved, you should also read this article and think about what you can do to feel better at work.
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